


Deep Into That Darkness

by V_Kane



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:28:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24984613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/V_Kane/pseuds/V_Kane
Summary: "Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before."
Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov
Kudos: 4





	1. Fearing

The air tasted of blood and it weighed down the only occupant in a weight too heavy to bear. The fire roared around him as he ran. The blue of the fire licked out at him, burning him along his arms and legs. It twisted around the man hoping to bring him down.

He didn’t know where he was running to. He just ran. His bare feet slipped in the blood flooding the floor. Red sprayed up his legs as his feet made impact with the ground.

Turning left pushed him straight into the fire and his arms lifted in front of his face for protection. The heat burned through him as he turned away from it. He stumbled and landed on his hands and knees. The blood surged up to cover him and he pushed himself up to his feet with a ragged yell.

Turning he realized there was no way to turn any longer. He was surrounded by walls of fire that closed in on him. Fire on his right raced up his body and he flailed away from the burn. The fire came from his left and seemed to caress his face as it grabbed onto him.

There was nowhere to go now as the blaze consumed him. The pain was unbearable as he lifted his head to the heavens and screamed.

\---

Clint Barton blinked himself awake as his body still felt the fire burning him. He reached out to where he knew Natasha was sleeping and patted her spot to see if she was still there. There was a body there but all he felt was a wet substance. He put his hand in front of his face and frowned when he saw red.

Clint jackknifed up and turned to Natasha. She was unrecognizable. Her face was the red that matched the color of her hair. Clint was shocked at her unmoving form. He pushed away from her as he scrambled away from the horrible sight.

Long white arms wrapped around him and tucked his arms against his chest. They kept him in place as he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Natasha’s mutilated body.

Hands pushed his head back into a shoulder and lips were at his ear whispering to him.

“Isn’t it beautiful. I knew you would love what I made you do. Now it is your turn my Hawk.”

Loki’s voice seemed to grip his heart tight and twist it cruelly. As he felt Loki’s hand encircle his neck he closed his eyes and accepted his death.

\---

Clint Barton gasped himself awake and immediately rolled himself off the bed. The floor was hard on his hands and knees punishing him from his fall. His breath was harsh as he hyperventilated on the floor of his room.

“Clint!”

Natasha was there trying to lift his head to look at her and Clint panicked. He pushed her away and scrambled into the corner of his room as quickly as he could. She didn’t look hurt as she got to her feet to come over to him.

“No! Stay away!”

She stopped then and looked down at him with concern. She knelt down in front of him carefully and leaned back to sit on her knees. She seemed content to wait on him.

His breathing wasn’t getting any better and his heart seemed like it wasn’t slowing down either.

“Clint. I need you to breathe. Slowly.”

“I…”

He tried but his mind was reeling. He couldn’t think straight. He couldn’t breathe. He could still feel Loki’s lips on his neck as the god’s hands tightened. Feel the god smile against his skin.

“Clint…”

That was the last thing he heard as his vision grayed out suddenly and he was falling.

\---

Clint woke struggling and noticed that he was in a bed and restrained. A quick glance showed him a medical facility that he didn’t recognize. Straps were around his wrists, ankles, chest and thighs. He strained against them and the beeping of his heart monitor sped up.

A nurse stepped through the door and gave him an unimpressed face.

“Mr. Barton, please stop struggling. You are safe. You had another episode and we had to restrain you.”

“What the hell are you talking about?!”

The nurse looked at her clipboard thoughtfully and ignored him. She went to the machines next to him and pressed a few buttons.

“Where am I? Who are you?”

She didn’t answer him and he strained in the bed against the restraints holding him down. His right wrist seemed a little loose and he pulled at it with a groan.

“Now don’t hurt yourself Mr. Barton.”

Long white fingers fell on his right wrist and Clint looked up into those familiar green eyes. Loki had his black hair pulled back and his smile looked sincere. He even was wearing a white lab coat with a nice name badge on his chest.

“You! What have you done?!”

Loki sat down on the bed and laid his hand on Clint’s arm in what looked like understanding.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Mr. Barton, we are just trying to help you. You had a very serious episode that we need to discuss.”

“Get away from me!”

Loki gave him a small frown before turning to the nurse.

“Maybe it is better if we sedate him.”

“Of course, Doctor.”

Clint’s gaze flew to the nurse and he pulled hard at the restraints. She came to him with a syringe in her hand.

“Don’t! Stay away!”

Loki was standing and walking away. The needle hurt as she pierced his arm with those sympathetic eyes.

“Don’t worry Mr. Barton. We will be here when you wake up.”

Clint was fighting to hold onto consciousness but the darkness pulled on him sharply. He won the battle for a few seconds before he was gone.


	2. Wondering

Clint didn’t feel so good when he woke up this time. He opened his eyes slowly to see that he was laying unrestrained on his side. Laying on something hard. 

“Clint! I’m so sorry!” 

Big hands slowly turned him until he was on his back. Clint’s vision took a moment to clear but he saw Steve kneeling next to him looking really scared. 

“What happened?” 

“We were sparring and I went to punch you. I thought you would duck. You always duck! You just stood there.”

“I… yea. Can you help me up?” 

“Maybe we should wait for Bruce. He’s on his way.” 

“Oh come on Steve. At least let me sit up.” 

“All right. But then we wait.” 

Steve pulled him up slowly and Clint breathed deeply as his vision constricted when he got to a sitting position. His jaw was pulsing and he assumed that Steve really did hit him. He didn’t remember anything about that. He remembered Loki, blood, and fire. 

He remembered Loki touching him and the feel of Natasha’s blood on his fingers. Everything seemed so real. Like he was jumping between worlds and only getting to remember a part of it. 

“Clint.” 

Clint looked up from his staring contest with the floor to see Bruce next to him. He looked concerned and Clint tried to give him a smile of reassurance. It must not have worked because Bruce just frowned at him. He looked over the archer to talk to Steve. 

“I think he needs to go to Medical.” 

“No. I don’t need Medical.” 

Clint started to try and rise off the floor. It must have been too quickly because right when he got to his feet his vision tilted. Strong arms grabbed him and he heard Bruce cry out his name. 

Steve felt warm as Clint faded away. 

\---

_ Well this is new. _

Clint lifted his head and blinked his eyes open. He was standing in what looked like an abandoned warehouse. His arms were pulled above him and a quick look showed manacles were holding him up with the chain reaching all the way to the ceiling. His feet barely touched the floor as he swung slowly in the air. 

“Clint.” 

The archer turned his head and saw Tony restrained in a chair to his right. Tony looked better than Clint felt. A black bruise covered his left eye but besides that he looked fine. 

“Tony? What happened?” 

“Well those guys decided to try some electricity on your body. After a while you decided to take a nap.” 

_ That explains the headache. _

“I… I don’t remember that.” 

“Ok, don’t worry about it. The Avengers will be here soon. I promise.” 

Clint just nodded and let his head fall forward. Maybe if he passed out again he would wake up somewhere else. His body wasn’t accommodating though as he just swung and listened to Tony’s rambling. 

The door opening had Clint bringing his head back up and trying to assess the situation. He recognized no one as a small group of military clothed men came to stand in front of the two Avengers. There were no tags to show which military they belonged to or if they were just mercenaries hired for this specific purpose. 

“I’m afraid Mr. Stark that our time must come to an end. We have to move.” 

Men were walking to Tony and releasing him from the chair. Clint realized with clarity that no one was moving to let him down. Tony seemed to catch on quickly. 

“Wait. Please, let him come with us. Don’t leave him here.” 

“I’m sorry Mr. Stark but that’s not an option.” 

Tony was struggling now as they started dragging him away. 

“No! He will die out here if we don’t bring him!” 

Clint kept his eyes on Tony even as the genius looked terrified and couldn’t stop begging the men around him to save the archer. 

The man who seemed to be in charge rolled his eyes before coming to stand in front of Clint. He made sure that Clint locked eyes with him before he slammed the knife into his chest. Tony was screaming now and his voice faded as they dragged him out of the warehouse. 

Blood poured down Clint’s chest and he was gasping for breath now. The pain from the knife radiated out and consumed Clint quickly. The man pulled the knife out making Clint cry out. He wiped it on his pants before sheathing it at his thigh. 

The man patted him on the shoulder before turning and leaving. Tony’s voice was gone and Clint let his head hang down. He wasn’t sure what would happen now. Where he would wake up or if he would never wake up again. 

He closed his eyes and pictured Natasha. He could almost feel her fingers on his face as the pain brought him under. 

\---

Small hands were rubbing slowly up and down Clint’s side. Clint kept his eyes closed hoping he could stay in this slice of happiness for a little while longer. Lips were on his ear as the hands moved onto his chest. 

The memory of Loki having his lips on his ear had Clint violently waking up. He sat and quickly turned to the other occupant on the bed. Seeing Natasha made him sigh and he flopped back down onto the bed. 

“You okay?” 

Clint just nodded and tried to breathe. 

_ I’m okay. I’m not dreaming. This has to be real.  _

Natasha stopped roaming her hands down his body but she tucked herself close to him. He pulled her close and just tried to relax. 

“What’s wrong?” 

_ What do I say to that? _

“Nothing. Just some bad dreams.” 

His hand around her back went to her neck and his fingers caressed her skin. He could feel the arrow necklace around her throat and it calmed him down. He never wanted to leave this bed. Of course that was when Natasha spoke up. 

“Come on. I’m hungry. It’s Steve’s turn to cook.” 

“Just a little while longer? Pleaseeeee.” 

He sounded like a child and she laughed at him. She pushed up and away making him groan his frustration. He sat up in the bed as she left the room quietly to enter the bathroom. Left alone just gave time for Clint to think. 

He rubbed his chest and jaw carefully but he didn’t feel any residual pain. He did remember how Steve caught him and tucked him against his chest as they both fell to the floor. He remembered the warm blood as it flowed down his chest to cover his body in a blanket of red. 

The memories made Clint shudder. 

_ They were just dreams. You are awake now.  _

Clint stood and stretched, breathing deeply as his body groaned at him. He took a deep breath and made his way to the bathroom. Natasha was in the shower and he went to the sink to brush his teeth. The mirror was getting foggy but he could still see his reflection. 

He looked exhausted. Dark circles lined the bottom of his eyes and his skin looked almost white. Looking away he got to work getting ready for breakfast. 

Clint took his time walking to the kitchen and keeping his eyes open for anything that would pop up and take him out. Natasha gave him a curious look before taking his hand in hers and leading the way. 

The kitchen was already full of the other Avengers. The smell of bacon almost made Clint cry and he went straight to the island table to sit down. Tony and Bruce were talking to the side of the table as they looked over a gauntlet that encircled Tony’s wrist. They looked into a deep discussion so Clint ignored them. 

“Good morning Steve.” 

“Good morning Clint.” 

Steve turned from the stovetop and gave Clint a smile. He grabbed a plate and put some pancakes on it before adding scrambled eggs and bacon. The super soldier took the plate and placed it right in front of Clint before moving back to the stove and the sizzling bacon. 

Clint leaned in and smelled the food with a deep inhale. He sat back and wanted to profess his love to Steve. 

“God I love you Steve.” 

Rogers laughed at him but he didn’t turn away from the cooking. 

Tony’s voice got a little loud and Clint looked over at the two scientists as he grabbed his fork. The archer heard something that sounded like a little puff of air. Something small flew out of Tony’s gauntlet and hit him in the chest. 

Tony and Bruce both looked up to him with wide eyes. Clint looked down at the dart in his chest and he looked up to see Natasha running towards him. His body was falling off the stool and the fork fell out of his limp fingers. 

_ You have got to be kidding me!  _


	3. Doubting

The gun was heavy in his hand and Clint turned in place taking in what was happening. Explosions and bullets were flying by him. They were in a shootout and he was standing right in the middle of it. 

“Clint! Get down!” 

Clint turned to the sound but a bullet took him in the chest and he fell to the ground hard. His head made an impact with the concrete and the darkness swallowed him instantly. 

\---

Clint sprung up from the coach, tripping over Tony’s feet on the way. He caught himself on his hands and lifted himself off the ground and started running. 

“Clint?!”

He ignored whoever that was and kept up his pace. He went straight for his room and hurled himself inside. Dropping to his hands and knees he tried to slow his breathing to a more manageable level. 

“Jarvis, lock the door!” 

“I’m sorry Agent Barton but I can not lock a room that doesn’t belong to you.” 

_What?_

“Clint are you alright?”

Clint looked up into Loki’s worried face and he flung himself away from the god. Scrambling he ended up in the corner of the room right when Steve and Tony came through the door. They all looked at Clint before Steve started walking towards the archer. 

“No! Stay away from me!” 

Steve stopped instantly and held up his hands in a non-threatening manner. He even took a step back as Clint was huddled in the corner. For a few moments the only sound in the room was Clint’s ragged breathing. 

“Clint. What’s wrong?” 

Steve sounded so sincere but Clint’s eyes kept flickering to Loki. Tony was standing so close to the god and Clint wanted to yell at him to get away from him. 

_This isn’t my world. I’m somewhere else. This isn’t real!_

“I… I don’t belong here.” 

“Well it is my room Barton.” 

Steve gave Loki a disappointed look and the god actually looked apologetic for a moment. Steve just went back to giving Clint his attention. 

“What do you mean Clint?” 

“Where’s Natasha?” 

Tony gasped a little and suddenly Clint didn’t want to hear the answer to that question. Steve’s eyes showed nothing but sympathy as he knelt down in front of Clint. 

“Clint. Natasha passed away almost a year ago.” 

Clint looked between the three men in front of him and he didn’t see any lie in their expressions. Steve was telling the truth. 

“No. Natasha isn’t dead.” 

“Clint…” 

“No! In my world she is alive!” 

“Maybe we…” 

Clint took Steve’s hesitation as his only chance. He rose to his feet and quickly ran for the door. Tony looked surprised but apparently he didn’t surprise Steve as his strong arms wrapped around his waist and brought him down. Clint rolled as he hit the ground to try and get away but Steve was right there with him. 

Steve landed on him as Clint rolled to his back. The super soldier sat on Clint’s chest and struggled to get a hold of his arms. 

“Don’t! Let me up!” 

Steve didn’t say anything as he got control of both of Clint’s wrists. Being completely trapped didn’t stop Clint from struggling out of sheer panic. He was moving as much as he could under the weight that Steve had to push forward and pin his wrists to the floor. 

“Clint! Just relax!”

“Please! Steve! Please!” 

“Tony?” 

“I got it!”

Tony came into his view with a syringe and Clint increased his struggle at the view. 

“No! Don’t sedate me!” 

It was too late. The needle hurt going into his neck and his body grew lax with the drug taking over. Steve let go of his wrists and sat back as he watched Clint lose his fight with the sedation. 

Clint had enough energy to look at Loki standing by the wall right before he passed out. The smile on the god’s face was cruel and dumped ice in Clint’s veins. 

\---

Loki was turning with a smile on his face when Clint launched himself at him. The god didn’t see the punch coming and he fell back at Clint’s assault. A punch to the jaw. An uppercut into the ribs. A kick sent the god flying back to hit the wall. 

Clint paused only a second before he was going for the knife on the counter. A hand grabbed his wrist and he looked up into Natasha’s eyes. 

_She was alive!_

She didn’t look happy at all and actually moved to twist his wrist away from the knife. He followed the motion and turned his body away from her. She had to let go of his wrist and she followed him as he backed away. He noticed she wasn’t wearing the arrow necklace he gave her and something about that made an alarm ring in his head. She spoke without keeping her eyes off of Clint. 

“Loki, get out of here!” 

Clint snarled at her as he pushed his advantage. 

“He’s not going anywhere!” 

She actually seemed surprised as he came at her pushing her back with his attacks. As she took another step backwards he pivoted and went straight back at the god. He didn’t have a weapon but he would snap Loki’s neck. Whatever works. 

He didn’t realize that Loki never left the room. Clint ran right into Loki and the god’s hand snapped out and grabbed a hold of his throat. Loki lifted him off the ground effortlessly and his eyes were bright with rage. 

“You couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you?”

“Loki, release him!” 

Loki ignored Natasha as Clint’s hands scrambled at the hand grabbing his throat. He would have told Loki some interesting words if only he had air to breathe. 

“I will make sure you stay in this cycle for the rest of your life Barton. You can’t stop me.” 

Clint tried to smile as viciously as he could even as the gray started filling up his vision. He gathered up as much air as he could to whisper to Loki. 

“Fuck. You.” 

Loki gave him that smile again before he gasped and released him. Clint fell bonelessly to the ground. He was just able to turn his head as he saw Loki on his knees, a knife sticking out of his back. 

Natasha stood tall next to him with a knife in her other hand. She looked gorgeous as she took the knife and stabbed this one into Loki’s chest. No hesitation and no pity. Clint’s angel of death came to save the day. She turned to face Clint but he was already gone. 

_Loki is dead. She killed him._

He just hoped that the world he woke up to would be the end of this nightmare. 


End file.
